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September 29, 2012
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i was stitched lips and a flightless raven heart-
all sex and a contorting spine;
his own lips engraving 'kiss me's' on empty stars.

& between you and me: i feared his teeth,
& tongue, & honest organs-
with skin that begged, 'please, don't touch me.'

don't touch me.
don't fucking touch me.


i am not soft.

there is a war raging in my lungs,
screaming through the uncharted galaxies
of my wanderlust heartstrings.

i am not soft.

i am lust, & war, & envy—

i am sin,
        
         crooked, misshapen,
& the kind of prosetry yet to be proofread.

—but he wanted to claim my guarded ghost eyes
and crossed legs.

'just—let me hold you.'

his callused hands were cancer,

my still body, a clock.
Personal.

Androphobia: Fear of men.

However, I'm not sure how accurate this is.
As it's not exactly /men/ as it is their touch that sometimes makes my skin crawl.

Sorry for the repetition.

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:iconscorpionholiday:
ScorpionHoliday Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2013
what an interesting fear. I love the poem and it's power to explain the way it feels to be mortified by something. I can understand that fear honestly. Men have not been kind to me, and the ones who have were just trying to sleep with me.

I don't understand it anymore.

my first boyfriend, I couldn't even hold his hand without feeling sick to my stomach. I don't think I have that fear, but I know what I wasn't for a long time, and what I wasn't was...interested in dudes.
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:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner May 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I wasn't either, and I believed there was something wrong with me.
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:iconscorpionholiday:
ScorpionHoliday Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013
me too. I used to be disgusted in myself. I tried really hard to be someone I'm just not. it is still hard to be me sometimes. I care too much about what others think.
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:iconsigma-echo-seven:
Sigma-Echo-Seven Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Student Writer
"don't touch me.
don't fucking touch me.

i am not soft.

there is a war raging in my lungs,"

It's been said before, but I really can't overemphasize the sheer force behind these words. Magnificent.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so very much.
This is a very angry piece, but I find it to be one of my best.
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:iconx-thebasicflaw-x:
x-TheBasicFlaw-x Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
It reminds me of trying to rehabilitate yourself after abuse, rape, relationships gone wrong... It's a lovely commentary on sex and people and the profound effects of touch.
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:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, yes--exactly. Thank you!
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
"& between you and me: i feared his teeth,
& tongue, & honest organs-
with skin that begged, 'please, don't touch me.'

don't touch me.
don't fucking touch me.

i am not soft."
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconeragonlover1:
Eragonlover1 Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2012
Wow, I particularly admire the lines 'of my wanderlust heartstrings' and 'his callused hands were cancer' you're creating a tapestry here with your words, it's breathtaking.
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