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Submitted on
November 13, 2012
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I've got a filthy mouth,
& a house of stars
thriving in my throat.

21 years
silent

& I still have yet to tame
this grounded constellation
I call my temple. -Slithering
tongue hissing too many
"fuck you's" against my teeth.

I fear I will write myself hollow-
or until my bones are corroded away

& I am nothing-
an insignificant nebula
orbiting the wrong atmosphere.

But, my veins bleed sweet ichor,

& words are only words, Mother.
"Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical." - Sophia Loren

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:iconlovelyz:
Beautiful Piece. Simply Beautiful. I loved reading this. It caught my attention and stuck with it
The first paragraph
"I've got a filthy mouth,
& a house of stars
thriving in my throat."
This really caught my attention, just the use and place of words. The house of stars kept my mind thinking and the thriving in my throat made a great touch to the end
"21 years
silent"
Makes you wonder how this came up. You simply could have said "I have been Silent" but instead you made it all more interesting.
"& I still have yet to tame
this grounded constellation
I call my temple. -Slithering
tongue hissing too many
"fuck you's" against my teeth"
The first sentence of this paragraph caught my eye immediately. Is was used perfectly. And then the slithering tongue was a great touch too tell that you were mad
"I fear I will write myself hollow-
or until my bones are corroded away"
Beautiful paragraph that really gave feeling and passion
"& I am nothing-
an insignificant nebula
orbiting the wrong atmosphere"
I loved this paragraph also, but I disagree. You are not nothing, though it was used perfectly in this poem. I believe that you are not nothing, you are a beautiful poet
"But my veins bleed sweet ichor"
This was a great big time ending sentence, making the blood title beautiful.
"& words are only words, Mother"
A true and beautiful statement. And words are only words.

But your words in this poem were beautiful and have touched me. I hope to critic and read more of your poetry soon.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
3 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconsvalaw:
SvalaW Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
The title and first stanza immideately attracted me to read this poem. I like how you play with images of night-sky and mash them together with images of a body. It's really interesting and well done.
And the line that touched me most is "I fear I will write myself hollow" because that's how I feel quite often, though I never managed to put it into such perfect words as you.
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:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I do fear that a lot.
I think that one of these days I am going to run out of words,
and not know what to do with myself.
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
<3
"I've got a filthy mouth,
& a house of stars
thriving in my throat.

21 years
silent"

i love this piece. <3
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:icondreamsinstatic:
dreamsinstatic Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012
Your fantastic work has been featured in Friday Night Features.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:icondreamsinstatic:
dreamsinstatic Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconwr0:
wr0 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Student Digital Artist
---E Awesome!!~ Especially the fifth and sixth stanzas.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconwr0:
wr0 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Student Digital Artist
---E You're welcome!~
Reply
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