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awesome literature by darksonicsoul

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Submitted on
January 7


1,969 (2 today)
170 (who?)


Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
Old classics,
lilac air-fresheners,
the half cup of
peppermint ice cream
that’s been
sitting in your freezer
for weeks, and cat litter.

He won’t eat anymore,
but there are
piles and piles
of dirty dishes
sitting in the sink.

He’s slowly
before your eyes.

You can wrap
your whole self
around his tiny bones

You can hold him
like he used to hold you
all those years ago.

And you are angry.
You try to find
or something
to blame.

You hate doctors,
and you hate
November now.

November means
birthdays, diagnoses,
chemo treatments,
and realization.

You have to force yourself
to stop crying,
every day.

This is the one person
who’s always had faith
in you.

He’s read every poem
and hoarded every award
you ever won.

You ignore statistics,
because roses
they always
smell nicer.
This is the worst poem I've ever written, I think.
I'm too emotional. I can't think.
But I recorded a reading:…
( Sorry my voice is all shaky and I'm trying not to cry. )
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CherrySpringles Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm crying with this..
Morrigan94 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
so sad :( (Sad) ,I want to hug you Hug 
Nyuuh Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014
I don't know if you'd appreciate some feedback. If it doesn't interest you, don't read my comment.
First of all, this poem isn't bad. It's packed with emotions, and every single person that reads it can see it. It's my first time reading your words and I can assure you this poem makes me want to read more of your stuff.
I'm going to try to explain the only thing I don't really like personally.
"And you are angry.
You try to find
or something
to blame.

You hate doctors,
and you hate
November now."
In this part, I think the first stanza isn't necessary. When I read the second, I understand that your hate of doctors is caused by your need to blame someone, the first stanza seems to be an unnecessary introduction. Well, I just think it adds a heavy repetition. My opinion though, ignore it if you want. I really like the fact that you specify a month though. Makes it feel even more real. Makes it feel alive and not just facts. Really adds a new demension.

The rest is great, it has personnality and originality. It feels like... somehow "you know what you're saying", you're not just stating obvious facts about cancer, you're just telling us how you're feeling. Feels authentic.

Thanks for sharing this inspiring piece.
Hope you're okay.
cecegrace Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
My heart goes out to you.
magneticecho Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I agree with darksonicsoul; this is certainly not the worst. I don't think there is a 'worst' in your poems because they're all gorgeous. This is just as gorgeous. I think it's very good. I can understand what you're feeling just by reading words you've written... Not saying I can feel it too, but it's as if I can see your emotions the way you can see animals through the glass in a zoo. Or something like that. It's really pretty.
darksonicsoul Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014
This is certainly NOT the worst poem you've written! In fact its one of the best because it like a lol the others , it comes from the heart.  I'm sorry you have to go through something like this but just know that I and the rest of your fans on this site are hear for ya .
alpacasrcute Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014
I wish that cancer would get cancer and stole my mum and it stole my nana
AshleyDaDabbler Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014
Sometimes the writing we think is the worst turns out to be the best of us.

Do you think it's not as good as your other work because it lacks your usual literary flourish? Honestly, there are times when I read your stuff, and- don't get me wrong- you have a fantastic writing style, but I think sometimes your truths get lost in how you present them. 

In this poem, the truth is naked; vulnerable. However, it is from the vulnerability and your decision to show your fragility and love of the person you have immortalized through this poem, that it gains it's strength.
AshleyDaDabbler Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014
Also, you have my sympathies for your situation.
NekoNekoGirl997 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
How can I help you?
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