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Literature by baichan

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Submitted on
June 16, 2012
File Size
958 bytes


241 (who?)
I tried to devour myself in my sleep,
all tight lipped and tongueless—
hours after you left me
with only an unbeating heart
keeping me company.

Callused fingers made me shiver,
but never managed to make me burn.

Instead, they left me feeling cold—
a frostbitten liar with a snake for a tongue.

An unnamed poetic.

I'm dreaming of red skies
and dragons of old—
I'm begging, and I'm begging,
and I'm begging—Please—warm me up.

Set fire to these bones—
Give me a real reason to scream.

Because, there rests an old poet
in the farthest reaches of my soul
and she longs to fight this fire with flames.

[  As she's learned the tricks of her trade
   only conversing with Monsters.          ]
An old poem revamped.

I love finding wastebasket worthy scribbles and turning them into something beautiful.

You can blame the last line on :icondoktorspankenstein:
Something he said really struck a chord in me.
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The title 'Closed Mouthed' alone catches the viewer's eye, and the rest of the poem keeps them captivated. This poem is written in a creative free-verse form that gives it an extra flare. There is a clear sense of emotion behind each line that the reader understands immediately. It takes the reader into a new place, and keeps them there until the last word. They find a new experience to keep with them after witnessing this beautifully crafted piece of writing. The image is intense behind the words and the final sentence included confirms the message perfectly. For such a short piece, it is flawless and powerful.
What do you think?
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13 out of 13 deviants thought this was fair.

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intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Everything I read by you always amazes me! I think I liked the second stanza the most. I get goosebumps, sometimes, when I see/hear something really sad or something really hits me. So, personally- I read that as though people who've been around this world too long (calloused) still strike sadness in you but never actually "burn" you, or make you feel anything authentic.
It's like... you want to really live. I love this. :heart:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, exactly!
I love your interpritation. :heart:
i-am-a-bridgewalker Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
you have some really great lines here--"frostbitten liar with a snake for a tongue"--fabulous.
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :D
Sigma-Echo-Seven Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2012  Student Writer
Such longing! This poem really touched me.
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad. :)
Yaoi-Addict-Uke Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2012
Wow, I've really fallen in love with your words. <3
I'm a poet myself, and envy you a lot; I wish I could write like you. Your free verse is beautiful and flawless.
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Aww, thank you! :D
You shouldn't envy me, or anyone for that matter.
Merely write your heart out.

You should post some of your work! :)
Yaoi-Addict-Uke Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2012
Awwww, why thank you! ^//^
It's not like I don't like my own stuff, it's just . . . I don't know. XD Isn't it normal for one to envy something they don't possess?
But yes, I think I will, actually. :)
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I don't know if I've grown an ego, or backbone, but sometimes I find myself thinking--"I can write that better.", or "I wish I'd thought of that first." Because I have been told so many times I can't write, it will get me nowhere. That over time I don't care anymore and just write. I try not to envy anyone or think their stuff is better then my own. I enjoy the work of fellow writers, but I try to avoid such a mindset.

When you do tell me, I'd enjoy reading them! :)
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