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:icondearpoetry: More from DearPoetry


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Submitted on
December 9, 2012
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On some days,

you are †the angel dust
settled in my bones
keeping these December limbs
& Sunday-morning-coffee eyes
warm.

But, other days-
other days, I don't know
what to do
with your tornado kisses,
rage teeth that bite
& tear at my poetic insanity.

With these miles and miles
of bodies & hollow space
between our magnetic hearts-

How is it that these light-year pulses
still beat in sync?
THE :heart:'s MAGNETIC FIELD IS 5000 TIMES MORE POWERFUL THAN THE BRAIN.

The average :heart: beats 110,000 times a day, 40 million times a year, 3.5 billion times in a lifetime.

The :heart:'s vascular system is 60,000 miles long and can wrap around the earth twice.

Different people's (or even animal's) :heart: cells, will all beat in unison in a petrie dish. Different people's brain cells in a petrie dish will not communicate with each other and die.
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:iconmegsamirafauth:
Let me start off by saying, I do not give critiques often. This is the second critique I've ever given on Deviant art. I've only been so emotionally moved by someone's art this much once before.

It's not that I haven't read poems like this before. I've read ones with similar themes. The difference is, you made it work so perfectly, it's impossible for me to find any fault with it. I don't give critiques to tell people what they're doing wrong. I think they hear that from enough people. I do critiques to tell them what they're doing right. Sometimes we forget that it's just as important to know what is working as it is to know what is not working.

Comparing the person's kisses with a tornado is great.

I really love "With these miles and miles of bodies and hollow space between our magnetic hearts-"

And the last two lines sum everything up so deliciously well. xD

I'm no expert on poetry, but I do know when something I read is good. This poem is beyond good. The flow, structure, figurative language, the mood, the picture you paint... it comes together so nicely. You're very skilled. Don't stop writing.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
19 out of 19 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconmarianaerwin555:
Hello there, *DearPoetry.

This is one truly emotional poem. So emotional that the words used are just enough to make you like if you were the woman who was depressed like lipstick stains or blood.

It's like if we want to say that in some days, people can be good and friendly to us, and comfort us so we will be ridden of sad things but fill our mind with happy things.

But they may become angry, full of rage and sometimes cry due to their anger to us. We may have done something wrong to them and it's now time for us to comfort them.

But even if we know that we are separate, we still become friends and we still enjoy life the good way.

Truly emotional, it doesn't just represent a depressed girl but also happy girls in my opinion.

I'm going to give you five stars as I think this would be the best for you.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
14 out of 14 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
wonderful first stanza.

lovely piece overall.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Dec 10, 2012  Student General Artist
I love this poem so much. I love a lot of your poetry, but this one just really struck me.
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:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Aww, really? Thank you!
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:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Dec 10, 2012  Student General Artist
Welcome. (:
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:iconhawkheart29:
Hawkheart29 Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm faveing this for the artist's description as well as the poem itself.
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:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
The things you learn in anatomy. :)
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:iconeternalmaskrose8:
EternalMaskRose8 Dec 10, 2012  Professional General Artist
Amazing so beautiful. I like it. :)
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:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconeternalmaskrose8:
EternalMaskRose8 Dec 10, 2012  Professional General Artist
Your welcome my friend. I also loved the info you gave in the description. To me that info. was more than info. It was simply divinity. To know that the heart can do all those things. It simply proves that a DEVS must exist. :) Thanks for presenting those interesting facts.
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