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It was the unwritten poetry
dripping from her eyelashes
that made me love her.

She was a sinking ship,
and I longed to descend
into the watery depths
of her eyes-

just
to see
how long
I could hold
my breath.


It was the bruises sleeping
on the curve of her hips
that called to me like hungry sirens.

Licking her salty lips,
I traveled the scattered freckles on her back.

Shaping an angry dragon as if together,
we were part of the sky, all long-limbed,
tongues and teeth- she whispered,

"Do you know the story of Draco?"
In Roman legend, Draco was a dragon killed by the goddess Minerva and tossed into the sky upon his defeat. In turn forming the constellation we know of today.

I also found this out today:

"Draco is the version of the dragon found in Graeco-Roman myths and traditions. Descriptions of the creature found in early classical writing suggest a kind of winged serpent rather then the more traditional shape of the dragon. Bestiaries of the 12th century described Draco as a great serpent with a crest on its head and a very small mouth. It had the ability to dazzle its victims with a bright light which shone everywhere on its body. A favorite trick of Draco was to lie in wait for unsuspecting travelers, suspended from the branches or wound around the trunk of a tree." -The Element Encyclopedia of Magical Creatures, pg. 175


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:iconliserocks101:
I thought this piece was amazing. Though it is a little hard for me to make the connection of the story of Draco and your piece. The way you presented your stanza's is a way that captures people. The italics in stanza 3 were perfect, it added depth and character to it. Though next time you might want to describe her a little more, because in stanza 5 you could add a bit, but maybe you did that on purpose. Honestly there are not big things I can say except this was a brilliant idea and that the way you did it was amazing.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
18 out of 18 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconmrrightlyrics:
I thought this was very well done~! I loved how you created a piece that incorporated mythology into it. The imagery used in this was great, especially the lines describing her eyes. I admire the fact that you are able to pull the reader into your text. The use of the story of Draco interested me after I read this, and even looked it up afterwards. This piece reminds me that there is still good literature being made. I encourage you to keep writing pieces like this so that other people can enjoy this style of writing as much as I did.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
7 out of 7 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconcrypticshadows:
crypticshadows Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I have featured you in my latest journal. Thanks for the art! [link]
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:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconmr-black-bird:
Mr-Black-Bird Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2012
God seriously, you and ingle-nook are both just amazing. I look forward to reading your submissions just to marvel at them. "She was a sinking ship" "Salty lips" Such great descriptors.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I love ingle-nook's work too! :)
And thank you so much. I loved writing this one!
Reply
:icongreeenpantz:
greeenpantz Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2012  Student General Artist
once again, this is brilliant and beautiful
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
And thank you yet again! :)
Reply
:iconkissthesunrise:
KissTheSunrise Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2012
"tongues and teeth-"
Love it! :heart:
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
;)
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:iconthelunalily:
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wow... just... Wow!

I love the descriptiveness!!
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconthelunalily:
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome!
Reply
:icondoktorspankenstein:
DoktorSpankenstein Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012
Well it seems classical alussion is a alive and well.
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:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconkmusicdreamer:
KMusicDreamer Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Freakin' beautiful! <3 I couldn't read it fast enough! Each line made me hunger for more. <3
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:D Thank you!
Reply
:iconkmusicdreamer:
KMusicDreamer Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're so very welcome. :)
Reply
:iconcrystelclear1104:
crystelclear1104 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is beautiful. Utterly beautiful. I love the way you've expressed the allusion of Draco.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. I had fun with it.
And to be honest, I wasn't sure if anyone would understand it.
Reply
:iconcrystelclear1104:
crystelclear1104 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconpicajosan:
Picajosan Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You are a magician with words. I'm not, so I can't properly tell you how this makes me feel and I'll stick to 'it's very touching' and 'I love it very much'. But that doesn't say nearly enough.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Why thank you!
But I don't believe I am a magician with words. :)
I just string them together without putting much thought into it.
Reply
:iconpicajosan:
Picajosan Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Maybe that's why. ;)
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Maybe. lol
Reply
:icongothicangel93:
Gothicangel93 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh god! This is so beautiful. I absolutely love this! :XD:
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:icongothicangel93:
Gothicangel93 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome. :)
Reply
:icon1kawaiisuika:
1kawaiisuika Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012
This is spectacular. I love the descriptions. The working of the myth into this piece is wonderful. You created beautiful imagery. Very well done.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
I wasn't sure anyone would really understand it.
So glad people did. :)
Reply
:iconlen-len-hearts:
Len-Len-hearts Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
aw fabulous :heart:
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Reply
:iconlen-len-hearts:
Len-Len-hearts Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
;)
Reply
:iconarrow-dynamic:
Arrow-Dynamic Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012
What beautiful prose and word choice! Pure Beauty in word form....
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:D Thank you!
Reply
:iconarrow-dynamic:
Arrow-Dynamic Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconizzyemogrrl:
IzzyEmoGrrl Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i thought i was a good writer........but then i saw this :la:
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, I am sure you are a great writer! :D
Reply
:iconizzyemogrrl:
IzzyEmoGrrl Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
not as good as this poem XD
Reply
:iconarmelle-96:
Armelle-96 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is great! I can't stop reading it! Love! :heart:
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
If you liked this one, you might like a rest of my gallery. :)
Reply
:iconarmelle-96:
Armelle-96 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hope I'll have more time to see it soon! :)
Reply
:iconscriptedheart:
scriptedheart Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012
Fantastic!!
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. :)
Reply
:iconscriptedheart:
scriptedheart Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012
You're welcome :)
Reply
:icondbzkhlvr:
dbzkhlvr Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful!
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :)
Reply
:iconshadowrider327:
shadowrider327 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
absolutely amazing. the picture it paints....stunning. i love it.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. :)
Reply
:iconshadowrider327:
shadowrider327 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You are very welcome. :)
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