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Submitted on
July 8, 2012
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765 bytes


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It was the unwritten poetry
dripping from her eyelashes
that made me love her.

She was a sinking ship,
and I longed to descend
into the watery depths
of her eyes-

to see
how long
I could hold
my breath.

It was the bruises sleeping
on the curve of her hips
that called to me like hungry sirens.

Licking her salty lips,
I traveled the scattered freckles on her back.

Shaping an angry dragon as if together,
we were part of the sky, all long-limbed,
tongues and teeth- she whispered,

"Do you know the story of Draco?"
In Roman legend, Draco was a dragon killed by the goddess Minerva and tossed into the sky upon his defeat. In turn forming the constellation we know of today.

I also found this out today:

"Draco is the version of the dragon found in Graeco-Roman myths and traditions. Descriptions of the creature found in early classical writing suggest a kind of winged serpent rather then the more traditional shape of the dragon. Bestiaries of the 12th century described Draco as a great serpent with a crest on its head and a very small mouth. It had the ability to dazzle its victims with a bright light which shone everywhere on its body. A favorite trick of Draco was to lie in wait for unsuspecting travelers, suspended from the branches or wound around the trunk of a tree." -The Element Encyclopedia of Magical Creatures, pg. 175

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I thought this piece was amazing. Though it is a little hard for me to make the connection of the story of Draco and your piece. The way you presented your stanza's is a way that captures people. The italics in stanza 3 were perfect, it added depth and character to it. Though next time you might want to describe her a little more, because in stanza 5 you could add a bit, but maybe you did that on purpose. Honestly there are not big things I can say except this was a brilliant idea and that the way you did it was amazing.
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The Artist thought this was FAIR
18 out of 18 deviants thought this was fair.

I thought this was very well done~! I loved how you created a piece that incorporated mythology into it. The imagery used in this was great, especially the lines describing her eyes. I admire the fact that you are able to pull the reader into your text. The use of the story of Draco interested me after I read this, and even looked it up afterwards. This piece reminds me that there is still good literature being made. I encourage you to keep writing pieces like this so that other people can enjoy this style of writing as much as I did.
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The Artist thought this was FAIR
7 out of 7 deviants thought this was fair.

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crypticshadows Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I have featured you in my latest journal. Thanks for the art! [link]
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :D
Mr-Black-Bird Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2012
God seriously, you and ingle-nook are both just amazing. I look forward to reading your submissions just to marvel at them. "She was a sinking ship" "Salty lips" Such great descriptors.
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I love ingle-nook's work too! :)
And thank you so much. I loved writing this one!
greeenpantz Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2012  Student General Artist
once again, this is brilliant and beautiful
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
And thank you yet again! :)
KissTheSunrise Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2012
"tongues and teeth-"
Love it! :heart:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wow... just... Wow!

I love the descriptiveness!!
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :D
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