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:icondearpoetry: More from DearPoetry


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Literature by earthy-rah

Literature by PJatOfan11


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August 28, 2012
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i.
This distance between us
is devouring my lungs.
I'm left here gasping,
trying to suture back together
all the broken nights-
the cigarette burns in my bedsheets.

ii.
I'm tracing maps on my limbs,
and I'm painting black holes on my palms,
pressing them into letters
left on my nightstand
untouched and unread.

iii.
I keep telling myself
none of this is about you.
But I'm reaching for empty galaxies
as I try to remember what it felt like
to be one of a binary star.

iv.
Light-years away, and I'm here-
just another nova on your ceiling,
searching this vast universe for you.
I swear I wasn't going to write anything about space. But then I started thinking about Neil Armstrong, and feelings happened.

Oh well, enjoy.
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:iconxymphonie:
wow, you impressed me again! I really love the IV part. I like the deep feeling in the whole poem, the transition between the first part (depression) and the last one (resignation).
It's really beautiful.
Maybe I would like the poem even more if each part had a different number of sentences, and I even thought it went like that, but the III part doesn't fit. That's only my opinion, about the number,
I will keep an eye on your literature, you're improving everytime I see your gallery.
You must keep on writing, you're very good! :)
And maybe we'll see you in the shops one day. Only if you want so.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
11 out of 12 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconsairey:
sairey Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I aspire to be as good as you are at poetry! :O
Reply
:iconthemorningtrain:
themorningtrain Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013
This is incredible. No
other words describe it.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconhomercat17:
Homercat17 Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Love Your Writing.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yay! :)
Reply
:iconhomercat17:
Homercat17 Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I Dont Go For Poetry Unless There s Just Something About It, If You Know What I Mean. Your Poetry Just Has That Something About It.
Reply
:iconerco71:
erco71 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
``Light-years away, and I'm here-
just another nova on your ceiling,
searching this vast universe for you.``.. love those lines..:)
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, I do too! :D
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I like the last stanza and the use of the two words 'binary star' - just made a good combination I think :)

Cigarette burns I thought stuck out very much though with everything having a space theme though. Despite that however, it was a good read.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah mainly because I had been heading in a different direction originally, then it turned all outer space on me. XD
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ah fair enough. I know that feeling! I love it when work does what it wants XD
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, me too! ha!
Reply
:iconmystphaze:
MystPhaze Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Student General Artist
what a beautiful piece! the imagery is amazing. great job :D
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconmystphaze:
MystPhaze Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Student General Artist
you're welcome! ^^
Reply
:iconchatlantic:
Chatlantic Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012
ahh. Your poems are always so stunning. I love seeing a new one in my inbox.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!
And that's great--what a compliment. :)
Reply
:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Student Writer
Wow. I love this. Your imagery is beautiful, as always.
to be one of a binary star.
This line threw me a little. Still... iv was one of the most beautiful stanzas I've read in a long time.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
A binary star is 2 stars orbiting around one another. :)
Reply
:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Student Writer
Ohh... I was thinking a 'Be one with the planet. Be one with the binary star?' sort of thing.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well they are basically saying they miss their other half. :)
Reply
:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Student Writer
I get that now, yeah :)
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
oh gosh i love space.

thank you for writing space stuff.

i love it.
a lot.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I do too! :heart:
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i write about space stuff too much.

i admit it.

but i don't know many people who get all weak at the knees like i do at the sound of space talk.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I love anything to do with space, and astronomy.
Holy shit, astronomy.
I might not believe in it all that much, but I love it!
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
don't you mean astrology? that's the one involving the signs and gaining significance from the stars.

astronomy just means space stuff. [:
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
OMGGGG! My phone made me look dumb. -_-;;;;;;
I meant Astrology***, I'm staring at my phone to make sure it didn't change my words around. Dx
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
aweee- i'm sorry. it's fine though. [: i completely understand. haha
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Bahaha.
Teaches me to answer comments from my phone from now on. lol
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconthecmq:
thecmq Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Student Writer
Bahahaha "and feelings happened." I like that as an excuse. =)

Oh, and 'tis very lovely nonetheless. Neil Armstrong does deserve some kind of tribute. =3
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well, it happened like this:
Hmmmm, distance, distance, distance.
OMG--Neil Armstrong is dead.
He went to the moon.
The moon is far away.
Long distance.

Thank you. Glad you like it. :3
Reply
:iconholdthenoise:
HoldTheNoise Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I love reading your poetry so much. It always leaves this excited aftertaste in my stomach, like the kind that sticks with you and itches for more. I guess that's why I always find myself on your page ^^;
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Have you read any of my old work?
If you find yourself waiting for my new stuff,
might as well look around. :)
Reply
:iconholdthenoise:
HoldTheNoise Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ahhh, well I think I shall C:
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
My old, old writing is pretty bad.
You might need to shield your eyes. lol
Reply
:iconholdthenoise:
HoldTheNoise Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Haha. I bet it's not too bad!! Everyone starts somewhere...whether it be on the right foot or on their bellies sprawled across the floor XD :lmao:
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
True, true!
Watch, I'll be saying the same thing about my work now in a few years! lol!
Reply
:iconholdthenoise:
HoldTheNoise Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hah, I hope to be able to say it too!! :highfive:
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Student General Artist
Why haven't I watched you, yet?
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I have no idea. :o
lol.
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Student General Artist
XD Well, I went ahead and fixed that, since it seems I click on your poems every time I see them in the first few 'most popular' pages.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Aww, thanks! :heart:
It's really cool that you do that! :)
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Student General Artist
You're so welcome. <3 ^^
Reply
:iconlaffinia:
laffinia Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012
impressive work! keep it up :)
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'll try! :D
Reply
:iconsilver-ships-fly:
silver-ships-fly Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
beautiful poem (i love poems about space like this. i thank i'll write one too). :rose:
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Do it!
They are a lot of fun! :)
Reply
:icongeobukseon:
Geobukseon Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Student Writer
Did know that you could be so emotional over someone you've barely even known.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's not about Neil Armstrong. LOL
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