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Submitted on
November 11, 2012
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She replaces her wrists
with the sharp thorns
of roses and slurred
don't-touch-me's

-

as she speaks
in an old tongued
language that whispers

de

cipher

me.

-

She collects stars
on her knuckles,
& her dust eyes
are sad moon nebulas
starved for love.

-

But, the kisses
she sinks into the curve
of her lover's ribcage
by night, warm that
supernova heart.
Critique/feedback is greatly appreciated for this piece.

*AnotherPassenger requested it have a happy ending. It's honestly had a few. But, I am very happy with the end result.
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:iconprettyflour:
prettyflour Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This has been Featured in my  journal!




:)
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:iconlollirotcat:
lollirotcat Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student Writer
Wow I love this! :)
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks.
Reply
:iconlollirotcat:
lollirotcat Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student Writer
You're welcome! :D
Reply
:iconxeperpharos:
Xeperpharos Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I feel a bit egotistical when I really like something because I can relate to it in my own way. Especially when practically every line makes that inner voice speak "I know this feeling... so, I'm not the only one?"

Beyond that though, this is written incredibly well. Cryptic, yet with enough content to be deciphered (As you can see by my username, I love that word) in different ways. Obviously it avoids the cliche boredom of rhyming at the end of lines, and when a poem can carry on as fluently and entrancingly as this one without such parlor tricks, it is truly beautiful. Wonderful work. I wish I could be more specific but it's difficult with the ole' ego blocking the proper words.
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:icondamagedhomewrecker:
DamagedHomewrecker Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i love the imagery, as always
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconwolfsoulphoenix:
WolfsoulPhoenix Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I like the flow of it. Especially the whisphered "Decipher me". Very nicely done, I'd look forward to reading more :)
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :)
Reply
:iconchloedeathgod:
chloedeathgod Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
amazing
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