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:icondearpoetry: More from DearPoetry


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DearPoetry by FoxofEbony

Poems by Zepher87


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Submitted on
November 11, 2012
File Size
617 bytes
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3,505
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314 (who?)
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61
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She replaces her wrists
with the sharp thorns
of roses and slurred
don't-touch-me's

-

as she speaks
in an old tongued
language that whispers

de

cipher

me.

-

She collects stars
on her knuckles,
& her dust eyes
are sad moon nebulas
starved for love.

-

But, the kisses
she sinks into the curve
of her lover's ribcage
by night, warm that
supernova heart.
Critique/feedback is greatly appreciated for this piece.

*AnotherPassenger requested it have a happy ending. It's honestly had a few. But, I am very happy with the end result.
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:iconprettyflour:
prettyflour Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This has been Featured in my  journal!




:)
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:iconlollirotcat:
lollirotcat Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student Writer
Wow I love this! :)
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:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks.
Reply
:iconlollirotcat:
lollirotcat Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student Writer
You're welcome! :D
Reply
:iconxeperpharos:
Xeperpharos Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I feel a bit egotistical when I really like something because I can relate to it in my own way. Especially when practically every line makes that inner voice speak "I know this feeling... so, I'm not the only one?"

Beyond that though, this is written incredibly well. Cryptic, yet with enough content to be deciphered (As you can see by my username, I love that word) in different ways. Obviously it avoids the cliche boredom of rhyming at the end of lines, and when a poem can carry on as fluently and entrancingly as this one without such parlor tricks, it is truly beautiful. Wonderful work. I wish I could be more specific but it's difficult with the ole' ego blocking the proper words.
Reply
:icondamagedhomewrecker:
DamagedHomewrecker Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i love the imagery, as always
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconwolfsoulphoenix:
WolfsoulPhoenix Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I like the flow of it. Especially the whisphered "Decipher me". Very nicely done, I'd look forward to reading more :)
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :)
Reply
:iconchloedeathgod:
chloedeathgod Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
amazing
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconlivinittothemaxx:
livinittothemaxx Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student General Artist
love it :)
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconsilenttrain:
SilentTrain Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is fantastic. I can see the girl in the poem. <3

Though the line "But, the kisses" doesn't fit with the line after that.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yes it does, it reads like this:

"But, the kisses she sinks into the curve of her lover's ribcage
by night, warm that supernova heart."

:)
Reply
:iconxkame:
xkame Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Wow, this is absolutely beautiful.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconsilversnakegirl:
silversnakegirl Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It's very beatiful.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconhitori--sama:
Hitori--sama Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012   Digital Artist
I loved the cryptic tone that you managed to convey when writing this poem. Very beautiful.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, I tried. :)
Reply
:iconhitori--sama:
Hitori--sama Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012   Digital Artist
My pleasure! :heart:
Reply
:iconsarulatpg:
sarulatpg Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
That piece is very powerful. I love the word choice especially in the third stanza. Amazing.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much.
Glad you approve! :)
Reply
:icongamermutt:
GamerMutt Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Interesting. Reading some comments helped me understand better.
Reply
:iconbattybaby:
battybaby Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Very Beautiful
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :)
Reply
:iconnightshade-keyblade:
nightshade-keyblade Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Don't-touch-me's? What are those?
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
When someone says 'don't touch me' over and over again. :)
Reply
:iconnightshade-keyblade:
nightshade-keyblade Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ah, I see.
Reply
:iconblueburriez:
BlueBurriez Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Amazing.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconichihitsufangirl:
IchiHitsuFangirl Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I love the second stanza. It's like she's contradicting herself. She's speaking in an "old tongue" which probably means she doesn't want to be understood. But she also wants to be understood.

There's nothing worse than indecision. (I think. I'm not sure.)
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's like someone who keeps everyone at arms length.
They try so hard to not be understood.
But then someone comes along who does.
Who makes them put down their defenses and they realize they wanted to be understood the whole time.
Reply
:iconroamingtigress:
roamingtigress Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
I love the edge here. Great work!
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :)
Reply
:iconroamingtigress:
roamingtigress Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
You are very welcome!
Reply
:icondinorarr:
dinorarr Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist
Fabulous. I adore this... :heart: xx
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconkatie-venerelli:
Katie-Venerelli Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is really good.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconkatie-venerelli:
Katie-Venerelli Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
WElcome! :)
Reply
:iconautumn-spirit:
autumn-spirit Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
This has sort of a "bad girl" edge to it, if that makes any sense haha. It just seems to me like a person from the wrong side of the tracks learning to let emotions in for the first time.
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Your theory is pretty accurate. :heart:
Reply
:iconautumn-spirit:
autumn-spirit Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
yay!
Reply
:iconcyanide-tea:
Cyanide-Tea Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
The first verse recalled a old character of mine who was very much like that. Roses, don't-touch-me's, and all.

Definitely a lovely piece. Thank you for sharing it with us!
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, very interesting.
Thank you for taking the time to read it! :)
Reply
:iconodreh2:
Odreh2 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I enjoyed the star imagery.
Beautifully written
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
I'm glad! :)
Reply
:iconneko-mancer:
neko-mancer Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
It beautiful! I don't know why but it touched me deeper then most poetry does. Absolutely beautiful!
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