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Submitted on
December 4, 2012
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Like lies, you said
I make breathing the cosmos
through rose colored lungs
look easy- vertebrae stretched
toward the moon.

& I'm hanging my bones
out to dry, carving Saturn's
rings into my wrists- my
star burst ankles.

I swore then I'd keep my
black tongued poetry
& uprooted limbs far,
far away from you.

But, like lies, galaxies,
& night fevers, you
are the destination
on my star map skin.
We are all kinds of messed up, but that's okay.

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:iconminidonut:
I must say, this poem seriously touched my heart. Every human being messes up, but that's okay. Maby everyone wants to be forgiven, who knows. You must like writing poetry- so do I! You have alot if potential in you. You used such, such words that could bring inspiration to us all. This is very creative since you used your imagination for this poem. In my opinion, this poem should have alot more views, favorites, and comments. I love it when people expresses others' or their own feelings through poetry. Makes me want to ;^; with happiness.

Thank you for writing this. <3
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
35 out of 36 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconmountainmew:
I absolutely adore your choice of words and figurative language displayed in this poem. The visualization is clear while remaining ambiguous, that's wonderful. It's leaves a strong mark on the reader and doesn't over stay its welcome.
I think what I love the most about this piece is how simple it really is. It also remains up to interpretation, not trying to force a message on the reader with straightforward telling techniques. I love that.
If I may give a single complaint, I must say something about the flow of this poem felt unnatural to me. I think there could have been a better beat to the poem, but that's more of a minor nitpick on my part.
Overall, it's an absolutely wonderful piece, and I truly adore it~
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
16 out of 16 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconbragathus:
Bragathus Featured By Owner May 25, 2014
Sorry, not feeling this one. Nice effort anyway.
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:icontarosmyr:
TarosMyr Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2013   Writer
I absolutely love this. So glad to have discovered your poetry. It's very inspiring.
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:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :D
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:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Your imagery is so stunning, in everything you write. Beautiful, as always.
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:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! :D
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:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome. :)
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:iconkymira12:
Kymira12 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hello *DearPoetry!

On behalf of #InspireTheUninspired we would like to congratulate you on being Featured within our group. Please take a look when you have time and support your fellow artists :aww: Keep writing and inspiring!

:iconinspiretheuninspired:
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:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Aww! Thanks! Much appreciated!
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:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012   Writer
I like the comparisons in the last strophe - a lovely close.
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:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! I felt they fit! :heart:
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