I loved the effect this poem has. It gives the reader a sense of what readers block is and can be... I have personally been through that sense many times before yet wish no other to experience it for it can change your view on the story and alter it from what you might have originally wrote if not for the writers block I agree with that the & sign should be replaced with "and" but disagree on the change of writers block, it is spelled correctly in the poem...
This is a truly unique poem..I love this in whole <3
I hope you continue with your most beautiful poems.
silver-ships-flyFeatured By OwnerMar 7, 2013Hobbyist Writer
a lovely poem.
i've been in a car crash. (a roll over in the country on top of a hill) i remember playing rock, paper, scissors with my friends in the back seat. together we said, "rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" & right when we said shoot, the car started rolling down the hill. it was like i pushed a go button. it all went in slow motion. i looked at my mom in the front seat, then at my friend beside me, & then i closed my eyes. all 3 of us kept saying "Jesus" over & over again until it stopped. when it was over, some people saw us & flipped the car back around (it landed on it's side). we rolled 3 times & i hardly had a scratch, just some bruises form the impact. i was 11 then. i don't remember being scared. i just remember holding on & after, crying because i was relieved to be sitting in the grass waiting for the ambulance to come.
so i thank i know what you’re talking about. i’d call it beautiful. i don’t know why, it just was in it’s own why. but only after.
I don't remember crying. I was around 11 too. My mom went to stop at a red light, but her breaks gave out. The car didn't stop and we had a head on collision with an oncoming, speeding car. Our car started spinning and we eventually hit a pole. All I remember was being in the back seat with my sister next to me in the middle. It's suspected that out of reflex I grabbed my sister and held on. The men at the scene said that had I not grabbed for her, she more then likely would have went through the windshield because they found her seat belt wouldn't have held her due to her smaller size. I walked away with all those bruises. Her? One cut along her knee.
The aftermath, the realizing your still alive, that's where the beauty comes from. Adrenaline makes you see everything as brighter for a time.
The best art makes you think. I literally said to a friend today that there's nothing beautiful about bruises. I still feel that way, but this piece made me stop to reflect, so clearly it's done its job.
Despite the critics going against the '&' I quite like it. Little things like that are completely up to individual perspective, and there's likely to be people on both sides of that fence. But, overall, I very much enjoy this poem. The first line grabs the reader's attention, and the overall simile of the piece is definitely a strong punch to a human being's 'feelings' box.
The only line I feel that doesn't entirely fit is the line "Flashbacks." as the work itself gives a variety of images and memories to most readers without needing to invoke the word flashbacks directly.
This is a good poem, but the analogy itself is a little... I mean, it's creative, and a neat perspective, but... and I don't want to be that person, but I don't think a person who gets into a wreck is going to think it's so beautiful.
Ah? Well, I wasn't accusing you of never having been in one yourself, since it wasn't apparently obvious that you were speaking from experience. I've been in one myself and most certainly would not describe it that way, but that's not what I'm talking about. I was only saying that I thought it was an odd comparison on a potentially touchy subject, but I'm sorry to hear about your accident.