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Submitted on
October 20, 2013


289 (who?)


Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
You told me
I was November’s ambrosia
sweet on your tongue.

But now all I feel
is discord, sieging
and overthrowing
the 3,000 year old tree
inside of me.-

Centuries to grow so tall
and strong-
9 mere minutes to

You no longer smile anymore.

And I am here,
silent as stone-
the carcass of a dead...
wild thing
hoping you don't leave me
on the side of the road.
My first poem in months, trying to get back into the grove of writing and answering the buildup of secrets in my inbox.

The secret: He was happy before he started dating me…
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ileaheart Nov 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is very lovely. I've never thought of "the secret" in such a way and somehow I can relate to it.
DearPoetry Jan 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
752364 Oct 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is such a terrifying feeling, I don't even want to think about it properly. But you captured the vibe perfectly.
DearPoetry Jan 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm sorry, but thank you.
whimandwonder Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I absolutely love the metaphor of roadkill, and that last line ("hoping you don't leave me on the side of the road") is so haunting and compelling. I would recommend removing "silent as stone" though in order to focus the last stanza on just that one, single, deeply powerful concept of the roadkill. The stone analogy doesn't quite fit it and can take a little away from the stanza's effectiveness. Speaking of, I might even suggest focusing the entire poem on that one unified concept, because it's a really great one.
DearPoetry Jan 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the help!  I'll take your words into consideration when I revise. ^^
I'm glad you liked it!
ThyPoetSorcerer Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Gorgeous and absolutely effective imagery; gets even better the more you reread it.
DearPoetry Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! C:
rober2 Oct 21, 2013  Professional Writer
I like it, but I think the metaphors and images are all over. I would like a bit more unity, perhaps?

Good stuff.
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